The Undisturbed Life Blog

Perceiving Emotion Expressed by a Whole Body

In their book Quicksilver (2010), Michael O'Brien and Larry Shook reference a 2004 National Academy of Sciences paper entitled "Fear fosters flight: A mechanism for fear contagion when perceiving emotion expressed by a whole body".  This paper is about kinesthetic awareness or body movements that precede emotional states, specifically how we recognize happiness and fear as others telegraph their emotional states.  Until this study, researchers focused mainly on processes associated with facial expressions; this study suggest that bodily movements are just as important for understanding emotional behavior.  One can only think of the archetypal poker player eyeing his opponent for signs of excitement or stress.  Just what is the player noticing that gives him an edge?

As with many research studies, the actual details are technical and sometimes overly complicated however I would suggest the time necessary to work your way through the work is well worth it.  O'Brien & Shook also make an interesting point concerning the permeations possible within our own neural networks:

This is where our emerging knowledge of the brain approaches the mystical.  When we consider that each of the neocortex's hundred billion neurons has as many as twenty thousand connections to other brain cells, and that those cells connect with millions of other body cells, and that, as neuroscientists  helpfully point out, the potential permutations of these connections exceed the number of molecules in the known universe, we are only beginning to grasp the reality of our circumstances. (p. 83)

Exceed the number of molecules in the known universe?  That sounds like a lot if you ask me.  That is why when I read articles like "Mice Make Their Own Morphine" I am not surprised. Rather, it makes it silly to assume that we know what is possible in any endeavor.

Mindfulness and Perception

Several years ago, I started looking more closely to what was going on around me.  The more I looked the more I realized the depth and complexity of what most of call "our experience".  However, what was fascinating was just how different "our experience" was from one another.  We more or less have the same senses but ask any two people to observe a person, place or thing and you get two different views.
 
Sure there are similarities, we have the many such common experiences, but the differences are legend.  Think for a moment about reading this text: the filtering that is taking place both consciously and unconsciously of the information (data), our brains are receiving.  You might find yourself shifting your weight in your seat, moving your arms, moving your eyes across the page, shooing an annoying fly, holding a cup of coffee all the while you are thinking about the words and concepts, relating them to your own experience and memories. 

In The User Illusion by Tor Norretranders,T (1998)  http://www.amazon.com/User-Illusion-Cutting-Consciousness-Penguin/dp/0140230122   there is a interesting table titled "Information Flow in Sensory Systems and Conscious Perception".
 
SENSORY SYSTEM   TOTAL BANDWIDTH  CONSCIOUS BANDWIDTH
              (Bits/s)       (Bits/s)

                  Eyes            10,000,000                   40
                  Ears                 100,000                   30
                  Skin               1,000,000                   5
                Taste                    1,000                    1
                 Smell                 100,000                    1

The flow of information into our system is enormous but as the table indicates, we are conscious of just a fraction of the data.  It is no wonder we see, hear, feel, taste and smell differences...and it also gives you a good idea of just how astonishingly complex our brains are. Filtering that volume of information every second and making sense of it is let us say, amazing.
 
Let us just look at Nonverbal communication (NVC), usually understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless messages.

According to Wikipedia, "NVC can be communicated through gesture and touch (Haptic communication), by body language or posture, by facial expression and eye contact. NVC can be communicated through object communication such as clothing, hairstyles or even architecture, symbols and infographics. Speech contains nonverbal elements known as paralanguage, including voice quality, emotion and speaking style, as well as prosodic features such as rhythm, intonation and stress. Dance is also regarded as a nonverbal communication. Likewise, written texts have nonverbal elements such as handwriting style, spatial arrangement of words, or the use of emoticons."
 
NVC is only one small portion of our communication structure.  Add to that language, context, conceptual mapping, emotions, drives and the primary operations of identification, evaluation and engagement and you have lots to think about as well.

I am fascinated by interpersonal communication, perception, and much of what I do while coaching is work within this domain.  We perceive the world very differently although for the most part have the same senses.  We also have unique and similar ways of evaluating and engaging the world, some of which could be called elegant and other not so much.
 
So how do we understand more about what we know is the truth, reality?  How can the same problem be perceived so many different ways?  Can we learn to expand our perceptual abilities in a meaningful enough way to improve our choices?  Are you sure we see, feel, and hear the same things?
 
In Mel Brooks file, "History of the World - Part 1" there a scene during the Roman period where a number of people are waiting in line to collect unemployment. Mel Brooks steps up to the window and is asked by Bea Arthur.

"What is your profession."
 
Mel arrogantly replies, throwing his head back "I am a standup philosopher."
 
Bea looks at him boorishly and asks, "A what?"

With great arrogance "I am a standup philosopher, I comprehend the vapor of human experience into a viable and logical comprehension"
 
Bea, with all the mockery she can muster (which is considerable)  says, "So you are a bullshit artist."
 
It is a funny bit in a very funny movie but it seems to relate to my point here...it is about perspective.  To one a philosopher to the other a bullshit artist... all in the space of a few gestures and words.   

 

 

Mindfulness - Keeping the Brain Limber

In our postings on mindfulness and meditation, we are exploring the application and usefulness of both practices.  Here's an article with some practical advice in attending to your "attending".

Quoting Gabrielle Leblanc http://www.linkedin.com/pub/gabrielle-leblanc/3/177/573 in the article "4 ways to keep your brain limber" http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/09/15/o.keep.brain.limber/

Focus: The way we pay attention to the world can make a huge difference in the way we experience it.

"Many adults in our culture are addicted to a very narrowly focused attentional style in which we beam-in sequentially on the tasks of work, shopping, paying our bills, and so on," says Les Fehmi, Ph.D., co-author of "The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body."

This gripping form of attention, which can be identified by a characteristic brain wave pattern on an electroencephalogram (EEG), is the mode we typically use when poring over a written report or staring into a computer monitor at the office. It's tiring to sustain (doing so often requires periodic infusions of caffeine and sugar), and is correlated with physiological reactions such as muscle tension, stress hormone secretion, and increased blood pressure, all of which take a toll on our health.

This kind of attention can also wreak havoc on our relationships -- what romantic partner wants to be scrutinized with the same intensity that we direct toward an important work assignment? Yet because we're called on to use the narrow focus so much, it's hard to let go of.

Only on vacation do many of us broaden our awareness to include the smell of pine trees, the crunch of pebbles underfoot, the way a color mutes in the rain -- a mode of taking in the world that Fehmi calls open-focus attention.

Vacations are a wonderful respite but unless we are very lucky that might be only two or three times a year.  So what can we do today and the day after to stay both active and aware? 

 

Motivation and self confidence - part 10 *

When we are appropriately motivated, life is much easier. There can be a sense of mission or purpose, and we move consistently toward our goals.

But too strong a motivating drive can be as much of a problem as too little motivation.

Powerful motivation can be rooted in need and other forms of conditioned suffering, which popular self help literature sometimes unwittingly feeds and reinforces, leading to unnecessary suffering and frustration.

We want the sale too much.

We want the girl too much.

We want to win too much.

It is a common experience that wanting something too much creates excess, internal pressure, and our performance suffers.

Beware the dark side of the force.

1. We want something. We experience a strong drive to move toward our goal, strong motivation, but we also experience pressure, impeding performance.
2. We very much want to AVOID something. We experience strong motivation to prevent or avoid an undesired outcome, and fear, pressure to succeed, and other negative states can inhibit our performance.
3. We want to keep something, and there is the possibility of loss
4. We are experiencing financial or psychological pain and want - perhaps desperately - to be anywhere but here.

Coaching should maximize a client's effectiveness, supporting them in creating the life they really want, and they should also suffer as little as possible in the process.

I invite you to notice that each of the four motivational forces above is rooted in suffering.

To illustrate the point, addicts are powerfully motivated, experiencing all four motivational forces, but they are not free.

One aspect of freedom is being able to do what we want when we want; for many, this is the very definition of freedom - and success.

But if we allow our own mind to work us like a puppet, driving us toward "success," can we ever be free?

As I've stated before, suffering in a way that drives you to do big things is still suffering.

And turning our attention back to effectiveness, without internal freedom, without the ability to use our mind rather than be used by our mind, we are at a significant disadvantage.

Mindfulness and Meditation - Many not so sure.

I observed an interesting thing while working with some people, something I did not expect.  Many people have a very negative idea of what mindfulness is and what it can do for them.  For a variety of reasons, some actually want nothing to do with it or its related cousin meditation. 

They imagine that mindfulness and meditation are for quiet monks and the highly religious, not tools to fire up their life.  They are data and scientifically driven and there is just enough mystical connotation, misinformation and confusion to hold their interest at bay. 

Of course, some of that makes perfect sense; just Google up meditation and you will see about 33,000,000 results.  Ask 25 people what they think mindfulness or meditation encompasses and you get 25 different answers. 

Then, there is the religious connection.  Meditation and mindfulness are most often associated with Buddhist practices and to many this connection creates some fear or at the very least skepticism. 

I mistakenly thought that meditation and mindfulness had a great deal of universal appeal especially with the well-published affects both have on stress reduction.

Just about every physical and mental malady in our culture is linked in some way to stress so I figured any reduction in stress levels would be greeted with enthusiasm.  I mean, who does not want less stress, less mental and physical strain? 

Well it turns out a lot more people that I ever imagined.  For the most part my clients do not want less of something they want more of something.  More focus, clarity, accomplishment, balance, energy and so forth, so they can work harder and achieve more. 

Therefore, the question asked often in a variety of different forms is "what's in it of me?" and the me they are referring to has nothing to do with giving anything up or slowing down.  The thought of taking time each day to do "nothing" or to "slow down" is intolerable. 

I thought it would be helpful to look at look at both these subjects from a very objective point of view.  Too really get curious and blog up a series of postings about what science is beginning to recognize in these domains.  

I think you will be surprised. 

Motivation and self confidence - part 9

Up to now our discussion of motivation hasn't strayed far from standard approaches.

Today, we're going to venture off the beaten path for the first time and begin introducing additional concepts.

We model motivation in terms of five basic distinctions.

Of the five, we've touched on only the first four, and to this point, those four have not been presented as being significantly different than the standard NLP motivation model.

They have been presented more specifically, which makes them easier to track with precision inside a client, a prospect, or yourself, but that's about it - nothing particularly significant, as yet.

Let's begin to look a little deeper.

I invite you to notice that each of these four distinctions involve evaluation - like this, don't like that; prefer this; value that - and as such are cognitive.

The fifth motivational energy - motivation resulting from expression - is NOT cognitive.

Let's look at an example - compassion. Compassion is an attribute, a quality we find within ourselves.

We may be naturally compassionate, or we may consciously cultivate compassion as a motivational energy, which is actively encouraged in some spiritual traditions.

Compassion is one example of an energy of expression. When we possess the quality, it lies latent within us and is like lightening ready to strike!

All that's necessary is a lightening rod, a direction.

An additional point of contrast: The first four motivational distinctions involve time and the experience of separation.

1. I am here; what I want is over there, in the future.
2. I am here; what I want to avoid is over there, in the future.
3. I am here with what I want to keep; over there, in the future, is the possibility of loss.
4. I am here experiencing discomfort; over there, in the future, there is the potential for relief

The fifth motivational energy does not require states of separation.

Because they are grounded in qualities we possess, energies of expression are available whenever they are needed without feeling separated from something we want.

Curiosity, playfulness, compassion, and love are powerful motivational energies, none of which require wanting, the need to avoid, the need to keep, or a powerful desire to end discomfort.

As such, energies of expression are conducive to states of inner peace and wholeness without a loss of motivational vigor!

A third point of contrast: Roadblocks, challenges, and lack of progress can frustrate the first four motivational forces.

Not so with energies of expression, being grounded in qualities, personal attributes, they are always with us. They are a part of who we are!

Imagine a sales person who utilizes compassion as her primary motivational energy.

Would she be as easily frustrated as one who is motivated primarily thorough cognitive approaches, through the desire to get or to avoid something?

No.

A fourth point of contrast: Motivation derived from inside, from energies of expression rooted in qualities, are conducive to healthy non-attachment.

Motivation derived cognitively is attachment prone.

Many have had the experience that when we want something too much, it only becomes harder to get!

There are additional contrasts to be made, but for now please recall that all five motivational energies can operate at the same time - in your client, your prospect, or your self.

I am not advocating one over the other. I am saying that any motivation model that fails to account for the fifth motivational style - concurrently with the others - is incomplete.

One benefit of doing lots of change work is the ability to test models in real time and to perform followup.

Tracking all five motivational distinctions simultaneously has proven extremely useful in real-world application.

Motivation and self confidence - part 8

Last post on motivation, I described the experience of a young man who had difficulty getting himself going in the morning.

Most of us have had the experience of wanting something, of knowing what we need to do, yet for some reason, it is difficult to get going.

So, what was my client doing? What distinctions can we make in terms of the five motivational energies?

1. Motivation to Create (experience, accomplish, attract, explore, share, posses, and etc.)
2. Motivation to Avoid something unwanted in the future
3. Motivation to Keep something valued in the present
4. Motivation to End something undesired or uncomfortable in the present
5. Motivation resulting from the Expression of energies we find within

Upon awakening, he focused directly upon the experience ahead of him for that day, which created a strong AWAY from motivational force (number 2).

He also LOVED the feeling of his cozy warm bed (number 3)!

Absent was a motivational force to create or move forward (number 1), which was primarily a matter of focus.

He was anticipating immediate experience rather than looking past that experience to where he ultimately wanted to go.

As his morning adventure continued to unfold, his 'evil' graduate adviser came into the picture, literally.

As the image of his angry adviser came closer, growing ever larger, he began to experience AWAY from motivational force (number 2) to avoid being overly late.

However, he did not rise from bed until the uncomfortable feelings associated with the images of the angry adviser grew strong enough, in the present, that he wanted to END them (number 4).

It was the combination of avoiding future trouble (number 2) and STOPPING uncomfortable present feelings (number 4) that got him up and moving!

I told him he worked perfectly. And I explained how.

He was relieved to know he was not broken.

The solution was straightforward - build in number 1; and then, diminish number 2.

We spent an hour building his future after grad school, zooming him out into that future, allowing him to experience it directly, looking back, feeling good about completing graduate school.

Then, we spent some time cutting his graduate adviser down to size. Through a series of re-frames and some submodality work.

As for the young fellow, he's not as young now. I still coach him - via the phone - from time to time. He is doing quite well.

It's interesting to note, having followed this client almost eight years, that he has never been biased  to move away from things as a motivational style.

His bias was to stay with (number 3) or move toward (number 1) intrinsically motivating experience.

His current motivational toolbox is much richer.

Mindfulness - Where am I right now?

One of the interesting skills we propagate through our coaching practice is mindfulness, keeping one's consciousness alive to the present moment, a deceptively simple skill of relating to our experience.

What makes it so interesting is observing others and myself and noting just how infrequently we pay attention.  It seems not paying attention has become the new mantra of our culture.

I started a category in our blog called "Information Overload" http://www.birthrightcommunications.com/birthright-blog/bid/15663/The-Information-Overload which outlines some of the statistics of today's environment; and whether you agree or not with some of the numbers, we can all agree our world is getting busier and we are changing as a result. 

It is almost as if the world has taken on a life of its own, molting into something new almost every day...and the demands on us to keep growing exponentially.  So why the interest in a mindfulness practice developed over 2500 years ago, what could be relevant? 

Here I am, feet to the fire, managing a business, a family, a whole horde of accounts; equipment, passwords ...and I have a lot more I want to do in every domain of my life.  I mean I am busy, very busy and the wonderful day I imagined would come when I finally get it all organized and controlled has not arrived yet...and I know now it never will and that is good news.   How...more on that later.

So just, what is mindfulness?  The term mindfulness is an English translation of the Pali word sati...sati connotes awareness, attention and remembering.  Pali was the language of Buddhist psychology 2,500 years ago and had at its core the teaching of mindfulness. 
(I am far from an expert of neither Buddhist psychology nor a Buddhist practitioner so for those who are bear with me.)

Mindfulness is about awareness and attention to the present moment.  Jon Kabat-Zinn shares a good working definition of mindfulness with us.  He says the mindfulness is "awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment and nonjudgmental to the unfolding of experience moment by moment" (We will discuss Jon Kabat-Zinn's work more in a later post)

My working definition is "To be mindful is to wake up, recognizing what is happening right now"... or even shorter, "waking up".

So how is this relevant to today's world?  It might appear that as you stand around "waking up"; the world might pass you by.  

In the next few weeks, I plan to explore the usefulness of this practice in our lives today as well as outline a list of daily practices that can greatly improve your performance. 

Motivation and self confidence - part 7

Years before I started coaching via the phone, a young man, twenty-three, came into my office with a motivational problem: he was having great difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. 

Sometimes, it took him two or three hours to find the motivation.

He was a graduate student in engineering at a local university with a full scholarship, an intelligent person.

A year into his masters degree, he had discovered, to his chagrin, that engineering was unsatisfying for him.

He also disliked, intensely, his graduate adviser, with whom he was forced to work quite closely as a condition of his scholarship.

He was aghast, bewildered, and frustrated with his lack of willpower.

We investigated many avenues, including the possibility of switching to another graduate program, but his morning-time motivation strategy is where our interest lies today.

Imagine your morning beginning like this....

You hear the alarm - briefly run a movie in your head about spending the day with a person you dislike working in an area of little interest, you then notice how warm and cozy bed feels - and you hit the snooze button.

After snoozing the alarm, you have the following brief internal dialogue...

"Mmmm, bed feels good."

Ten minutes later, alarm again, movie again, notice how good bed feels - again, and you hit snooze.

"Mmmm, bed feels good."

And so it continues - over and over the same process - until, two hours into the experience, something is changing.

The movie in your head. It's different.

Your graduate adviser is becoming angry! 

And his angry face gives you some uncomfortable feelings.

You consider getting up but dismiss the idea.

"Mmmm, bed feels good."

But, as this process repeats, your graduate adviser's angry face gets closer each time - larger and brighter - and the uncomfortable feelings are growing stronger!

Bed still feels good, but those yucky feelings - a sense of unease and growing fear of the consequences of being late - make your cozy bed more and more difficult to enjoy.

Your adviser, he ruins everything!

Finally, when the angry face becomes so large, so bright, so compelling that the bad feelings are impossible to ignore, you MAKE YOURSELF get out of your cozy bed!

Congratulations. You're up!

And you did it with style.

All of the first four elements made explicit in our motivation model - emphasis on the second two - played a part in this morning-time adventure!

Can you, the reader, see how?

Mind training quick tip - number two

Our first mind training quick tip can be found in a post about stress.

Continuing to explore resources for transcending stress, today's mind training quick tip will help you STOP the stress loop.

When stuck or stressing, and you want to STOP, centering in the body can be helpful. Proceed as follows:

1. Imagine filling your torso, legs, and arms, like a vapor or cloud expanding to fill the space. Occupy your body fully and completely.
2. Center yourself two or three fingers below the naval, where you find your center of gravity, or in your breath low in the belly.
3. Let your body relax around your center, gently. 
4. Let go of your thoughts as they arise, returning to center, as often as necessary. Have the attitude that for the next few moments, those thoughts are none of your business!
5. Step by step, increase the amount of sensory information you become aware of - visual, sounds, and feelings of the body and skin - as you hold center and continue to release thoughts.

It's not necessary to perform the steps in order, and it may take you several cycles through the process, repeating steps as necessary.

When you move your center out of your head and into the body, act "as if" the center of your being is now in the body, rather than the head.

Because you are fully in the body, you will easily become aware of the tension you have been carrying.

Let the tension release naturally, while holding your center.

We relax the body to relax the mind. As we proceed, we continue to let go of thoughts and return to center.

What you have here is a simple process for moving into the present moment, step by step.

As you perform this simple process, it really doesn't matter how often you leave center to chase thoughts and feelings - just go back to center.

Success is going back to center.

You'll know you're mastering this process when you find yourself performing the entire centering procedure in three to five seconds, or even faster, no kidding!

When would you want to do this?

Anytime you realize that what you're doing with your thoughts and feelings is not useful, and you want to STOP.